


a little fear

by Xamem



Series: a little love [2]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, First Dates, Fluff, One Shot, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 06:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20541857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xamem/pseuds/Xamem
Summary: After the events of a night at the Saloon, Julia is reeling - she's confused and a little lovestruck. How will she navigate these newly uncovered feelings?





	a little fear

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't read the first fic - a little gift, linked in the collection above - you probably should. you don't _have_ to, but it should help provide a lot of context.

“Yoba, he _kissed _me!” Julia screeched this into the phone at an alarming decibel, and given how Adrienne recoiled at the sound, it was perhaps too loud. Mrs. Drossel next door could probably hear her. _Shane _could probably hear her.

“Julia, slow down. And tone down. It’s, like, waaaay late here and I don’t need you waking up the kid. I just got him to fall asleep again.” Her face fell away from view for a moment, and when it returned she had earbuds in.

“Sorry,” she whispered, “It’s just. This is big.”

“Hell yeah it is!” Adrienne whispered back. “You haven’t been with anyone since…”

“No need to go over that. We both know the history.”

Adrienne nodded sagely. “Thank Yoba you left _that _sack of garbage. This Shane dude sounds way better already.”

He did sound way better, and that was what Julia was most afraid of. What if it was all some ruse? What if he wasn’t the sweet, sometimes sarcastic, unendingly kind individual she’d gotten to know at work? What if he was playing her? Or, somehow worse – what if he was all that, and he got to know her, and decided she wasn’t what _he _thought? Who even was she? She was beginning to spiral, and Adrienne noticed, snapping her fingers in front of the screen.

“Hello? Earth to Julia? Did you hear _anything _I just said?”

“No.”

Adrienne huffed, blowing her dark bangs out of her hair. She’d always said she’d envied Julia’s head of bright red curls, but Julia never understood why. She’d much rather have her manageable, glossy curtain of hair.

“Well you should be. I’m asking what your game plan is.”

“My… game plan?” Julia immediately went blank again. Was she supposed to have a plan? She couldn’t even remember what this was like. Her last partner had just kind of fallen into her life, completely by chance. They had asked her, they had always taken the lead.

Eventually that had been a problem. But at first, it had been a relief.

Adrienne sighed deeply, as if it were obvious. “He kissed you. Obviously, he’s interested. But you can’t make it too easy for him.”

“Too… easy?”

“Yeah!” Adrienne practically shouted this, as if she’d forgotten her previous warning that her own child was napping. “Yeah,” she repeated at a more reasonable volume. “You know. Guys get bored easy.”

Julia raised an eyebrow at this. Sure, Adrienne was married, so she’d done something right, but this didn’t sound like a good plan. “So I should, what… ignore him? Give him the cold shoulder?”

“That sounds good. I wouldn’t be, like, outright mean to him. You don’t want him to misconstrue anything. But you don’t want to fall for him right away, either. It’s a delicate game of cat and mouse.”

“Err…” Julia glanced at her own cat nestled at the end of her bed, a rather large tabby aptly named Loaf. Loaf hadn’t caught any mice, as far as Julia knew, and ‘delicate’ wasn’t a word she’d use to describe him. “Thanks for the advice, Adrienne, but I think I can handle it.”

“Of course you can! You’re super hot and funny and a complete catch. He’d be crazy if he didn’t want you.” Julia could hear a distant whine, sounding remarkably like a siren. Adrienne, to her credit, didn’t grimace or groan, just smiled wider. Julia wasn’t sure she could do the same. “Little man’s calling my name. Let me know how it goes!” She hung up before Julia even had a chance to say goodbye.

“Oh Loaf,” she murmured, scratching him behind the ears. He yawned, and she curled up next to him, his motorboat purring filling the emptiness of the room. “I’m so scared. What are we gonna do about this?”

* * *

Yoba, he had _kissed _her. What had he been thinking? Why had he done that? That was way too strong. What if she hadn’t even wanted him to kiss her? He thought that’d it’d been okay. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she’d just smiled to be nice. Maybe she was lying when she said he mattered. Maybe he had moved too fast, completely freaked her out.

_Maybe I need a drink._

He shuffled to the kitchen and checked the contents of the fridge. Hot poppers, milk meant to be drunk, milk set aside to be sold, some beers. Not enough to cut it. He opened the freezer, looking for stronger stuff amongst the frozen pizza.

“Shane?” The little voice startled him and he slammed the freezer shut, instantly feeling guilty. He had promised to do better.

“Yes, Jas?” Where was Marnie? Why was Jas up? It was well past her bedtime, he thought, glancing at the digital display over the stove. Nearly ten thirty. He hadn’t realized how long he’d wallowed in his thoughts.

Jas shuffled forward and hugged his waist, which was about as high as she could reach. Her hair was a frazzled mess, in lieu of her usual pink nightgown she had on one of his oversized soccer jerseys. “Aunt Marnie left a little after you came home and hasn’t come back yet. Will you read me a story? I’m really sleepy but I need a story or I’ll have bad dreams.”

Shane smiled a soft smile, while internally rolling his eyes at the thought of Marnie out. Her late night rendezvous’ were no secret, to him or the town – he knew she didn’t wear purple “shorts”.

Shane ruffled Jas’s purple hair, and she rushed off to get a book from the bookshelf. She brandished a book that had no pictures whatsoever. Instead, it relied on tone of voice and a certain degree of silliness. It was Jas’s favorite, a gift from Penny.

By the time Shane joined Jas in her room she was already tucked in, hair fixed, with three stuffed animals – two cats and one cow – tucked in beside her. Shane sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and opened the book.

“What’s wrong?” Jas asked, before he even had the chance to open his mouth. He sighed, scratching at the stubble he’d been allowing to grow out, and gave her a small smile.

“What do you mean, cupcake? Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired.” Even as he said it, Shane knew he was unconvincing, lest of all to Jas, the most perceptive child this side of the river.

“You were going to the freezer, and you only go there when you’re really hungry or really sad, and you already had dinner.” She reached forward and rested her little dark hand on top of his. Shane took it in his own and squeezed.

“I’m just confused about some grown up stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” How to explain this to her? She didn’t even know Julia. “Like, a girl I work with.”

Jas’s eyes immediately lit up at the sound of “a girl”. “Like Penny?”

Shane shrugged. “Sort of.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, “she’s beautiful.”

“Like a princess.” Jas nodded sagely; this was a fact, not a question. “You should bring her to our tea party next week.”

“And _you _should be listening to this story.” Jas settled in obediently, though the mischievous smile didn’t leave her eyes. Shane wasn’t even halfway through the story when she was out like a light. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, adjusting MooMoo’s blanket coverage, and left for his own room.

He left the vodka alone.

* * *

Julia was stuck outside the doors to Joja, frozen. She’d been standing there fifteen minutes already, trying to find the courage to just step through the doors that required theoretically _no work _to step through because they were _automatic_. But Shane was through there, and even though she’d had a whole conversation with Adrienne about what to do she still didn’t know how to behave. Did they even bring up the kiss?

With horror, Sam came to mind. What if he noticed something was up? What if Shane had told him? She wasn’t even sure what it meant yet, and he could be speculating, telling his friend group, who would surely tell their other friends and parents. Nobody in this town knew how to keep a secret, and gossip spread quickly.

“Uh, Julia? What are you standing around out here for? Didn’t your shift start, like, ten minutes ago?” She jumped at the sudden appearance of Sam behind, his voice directly in her ear.

“Shut up. I’m going in. I just… needed to think. And what are _you _doing here? You don’t work until tonight.”

He shrugged. “Abi and Sebastian are both working today, so I figured I’d see if I could pick up some extra hours. There’s not much else to do when it’s this cold outside.” She was tempted to give him hers, just to put off seeing Shane again.

“Ah. Well, no point in waiting out here any longer.” They went in together, Julia rushing to clock in, Sam to try and charm Morris into giving him more hours. Usually it worked, but after that little stunt he’d pulled yesterday, Julia wasn’t convinced it would work.

To her horror, Shane was lingering around the clock-in station, staring down at his shoes. He looked up as she approached and smiled, immediately sending butterflies to her stomach. _What was it Adrienne had said? Be aloof?_

“Hey,” Shane said. He seemed as nervous as Julia felt, scratching the back of his neck and staring down at the floor. “Um, I was just wondering…”

“You don’t have to worry about it,” Julia said, cutting him off. She could feel the butterflies migrating from her stomach to her throat, accompanied by the taste of bile. “It can just be a one time thing. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Oh.” She took a quick glance and saw heat in his cheeks and a variety of emotions crossing his face – shame, embarrassment, a hint of sadness. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything. I just thought…”

_Forget being aloof, I want him, _Julia thought. She loved Adrienne, but maybe she wasn’t cut out for romantic advice. “You thought right, and I was just like really nervous, so I asked my friend for advice, and she was all _be aloof _so I tried that for all of five seconds but I think that’s stupid because I really like you _and!_” She had to stop here to draw in a deep breath, having pushed the confession out with barely a pause. “And, um…” She wasn’t sure what to say now.

Thankfully, Shane took over. “How about we try a date tonight. A proper one. I’ll pick you up? Maybe around seven?”

The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile, the last vestige of her attempt at aloofness evaporating. “I live in an apartment on Magnolia. I’ll text you the address.”

* * *

It was ten minutes until nine and Julia still hadn’t figured out what to do with herself. Shane had been incredibly cryptic about where they were going – all he had said was to dress warm, which implied to her, at least, that they would be outside. But _how _warm? Bubble jacket with boots and three pairs of shirts warm? Comfortable peacoat warm?

“This is stupid,” she muttered to herself, finally settling on a pair of jeans and a nicer shirt than her Joja polo. Not a moment too soon, either – after she laced her boots up, the doorbell rang, and she did her best to contain her nervousness.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, right, Loaf? We’re just going to like, dinner, or something. It’s just a…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word “date”. “A night. It’ll be fine. It will.” Loaf did nothing to assuage her concerns.

Two things took Julia by surprise when she opened the door. The first was that Shane was not in his Joja hoodie. Although this shouldn’t have surprised her, she realized that she’d never actually seen him without it – not even on her casual outings to the Stardrop Saloon. The second surprise was the smell of a peppermint mocha, her preferred hot beverage.

“I asked Sam what you liked, since he’s the one that always goes on coffee runs,” he said, extending the drink in offering. “So if it’s wrong, blame him.”

Julia’s immediate instinct, as it always was when presented with a hot drink, was to sip it too quickly and burn her tongue. It was incredible – the ideal ratio of mocha to peppermint, whipped cream, and liberal marshmallows.

“It’s perfect.” Shane visibly relaxed, the tension practically melting from his shoulders as he gave her a small chuckle.

“Don’t know how you drink that stuff. Chocolate and peppermint don’t belong together.”

Julia scoffed at this. “First of all, you’re wrong. Second, what are you drinking that could possibly be better?”

“Apple cider. Eggnog is even better, but they didn’t have any.”

“You like eggnog? Even the name of that drink is nasty,” she said, falling into step with Shane. She wasn’t sure where they were going, but the city was beautiful – there was a light layer of snow frosting over everything, and the lights from the buildings reminded her of the stars.

“You just don’t have taste,” he muttered, but she saw a smile under the disgruntled tone. “This is Marnie’s favorite drink. Every year on the night before the Feast of the Winter Star, Marnie, Jas and I bake cookies. As many as you can think of – sugar, shortbread, chocolate chip, gingerbread. And Marnie will make fresh eggnog with the extra eggs from our chickens.” They paused, then crossed under a string of festival lights, glittering red and gold above them. “And then we exchange gifts, just the three of us. We always make the first gifts, that’s the rule. Anything we buy can be given later. It’s my favorite part of the season.”

“That sounds so sweet.” Julia felt a pang of longing. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually been able to celebrate the holiday with anybody. Her brother and Adrienne both lived too far away, and she couldn’t get the days off. It had just been her and Loaf and festive movies, paired with hot cocoa. “The three of you sound like such a good family.”

A shadow crossed Shane’s face, and Julia’s stomach dropped. She didn’t know the details, but she knew Jas’ parents were out of the picture, and that Shane was estranged from his own parents.

“You do a good job with her,” Julia continued, trying her best to steer the conversation towards positivity. “I mean, it’s not like I’m there, but the way you talk about her… It sounds like you two really love each other. Marnie, too. All three of you. It’s special. I hope you hold on to that.”

The walked for a few moments in silence, and Julia feared that she had messed everything up, that it was too soon to talk like this with him, that she had crossed too many boundaries.

“You know,” Shane started, “when I said you could be part of our celebration, I meant it. Not just the town’s celebration either, that can be… a lot.” He began to reach out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, hesitated, then finally went for it, his hand lingering. The brush of his fingers against her cheek sent heat racing down her body. “I like your hair down, Jules.”

“Yeah, well, Joja regulations keep me from being my true self,” she said, laughing nervously. “Um, are you sure Marnie and Jas would want me intruding on your family holiday?”

She wouldn’t – couldn’t – tell him how desperately she wanted to say yes. Marnie was a sweet woman, kind and stern. Jas sounded like a sweet kid. She wanted to see Shane somewhere that wasn’t work – somewhere that was warm and comfortable and home. Somewhere he could actually relax and be his truest self. She wanted to know what he was like in the morning, what kind of breakfast he ate, the games he played with Jas, the books on his nightstand. She wanted to lean down and kiss him, right then, but she was frozen by the anxiety of all those _what-ifs_.

“They’d love to have you, Jules, you know that. You matter to me.” He glanced at the House of Waffles they had been lingering outside of. “Do you want to talk about it over heaps of breakfast food?”

“Yeah.” They fell into easy conversation over waffles and hashbrowns, gossiping about that pretty Anderson woman that Julia had spotted Morris out with a week ago, about if Lewis would finally make his relationship with Marnie public this year, the upcoming music festival in the city Sam’s band had managed to snag a spot in. As they talked and munched and laughed, Julia’s anxieties started to melt away. _This is so easy, _she thought to herself, watching Shane point out each person who walked by and coming up with a weird reason they were in the city. They’d long finished their food when she realized it was nearly midnight, and there hadn’t been a single lull in the conversation.

“Is there even another train? Are you going to be able to get home?”

Shane shrugged, not worried. “I didn’t take the train here. Marnie’s got transportation she let me borrow – it’s not like either of us usually has to use it.” They were finally back at her apartment on Magnolia but lingered outside of it, neither one of them wanting to say goodbye. Most of the windows were dark, save two on the top floors. She could see some of the actual stars peeking through the clouds now. Her fingers were cold – she hadn’t thought to bring gloves – but she didn’t want to go inside and be alone again.

“I-“ Julia began, then stopped, not knowing what she wanted to say. “I had fun” felt too simple, “See you tomorrow” was too obvious since they had shifts the next day and would inevitably run into each other. “I love you” would be too soon.

Thankfully, Shane spared her the need to say anything. “I’ll text you the address and you can decide if you want to come to our celebration this weekend. You don’t need to bring anything. Jules…” He hesitated, looking down at his shoes, back at the glow of the streetlight. Finally he returned his gaze to her, tilting his head up so he could look into her eyes, giving her another smile that made her body hot and cold at the same time. “This was… I kind of can’t believe someone like you would want to spend this much time with someone like me.” He reached up and gave her a quick, chaste kiss on the cheek as goodbye.

Julia spent those early morning hours dancing barefoot in her room. She was a girl in love again, something she wasn’t sure was possible. The fear was gone. All she felt now was pure, unadulterated _joy._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this fluffy little first date! after writing the first fic i knew i had to do a followup. i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! <3


End file.
